Tony at the Florence Grand Fondo

Tony Atkinson writes:

‘My Life in Tuscany after my adventures with Mr Trump last month in Lucca when they closed all the roads because he was visting? Well this month I have joined a cycling club in Lucca, called La Bagarre. These guys are pretty good on very expensive bikes but I have managed to do everything they have thrown at me and I have done the climbs in reasonable time. Anyway they asked me if I’d like to do a Grand Fondo in Florence. I have read about these and basically it is a race. So I said that I would but before I needed to have my bike checked out. So one of the guys took me to the shop and the lad in the shop looked at my back cassette in horror because the lowest gear was only 25 and said that even Cipollini had a 30. So I said change it then and he replied we only have 11 speed back cassette. But eventually found a second hand 10 speed. The tape on my carbon handle bars needed changing and when he took the old tape off I could not believe the amount of corrosion, it was like powder.

Anyway on the Sunday we set off in the team car like they have in The Tour de France and arrived in Florence. They would not let me officially enter the Fondo because I did not have a form from a doctor but because I said I had come a long way from Manchester I could enter the start with the team but would not be given a time. (See picture. I’m the one in red on The Black Surosa)

At the start I felt nervous alongside 3500 Italians all on very expensive Pinarello bikes and pushing for a good place. The race got underway and thankfully for me it was a controlled start for about 2K around the narrow streets of Florence. You think Italians are mad in cars, on bikes I found it even more intimidating. Eventually things settled down and I gained some places on the first climb only to loose ten times as many on the descent. Every climb was the same. But I was feeling good and a keeping with a bunch on the flat.
Then after about 70K my phone rings, “Tony, where are you”. “I don’t know, somewhere in Italy I think and I’ve just done a big climb”. The phone goes dead. Then it occurred to me that they must have finished and I have still got to do 60k. That would take even Cipollini at least 2 hours. The phone rings again but I can’t hear what they are saying and I thought well there’s nothing I can do but carry on. The phone keeps ringing. I ignore it.

Pedalling like I’ve never done in my life trying to hold on to the back of a group, thinking it’s ok for those in front I’m at least 40 years older than them. Keep going and try to ignore the pain. It sounds stupid but I was looking forward to the next climb to almost have a rest because the group will split. Then the descent. Why can’t I go like they do? Phone rings again. “Leave me alone I think, almost crying”
Then a sign 30k, 15k, and at last1k. That 1k was equivalent to 100k. At long last I have finished and the phone goes again, to which I can now respond, “Tony where are you?”. “I am coming to the car park”

I arrive at the car park to find most of the team have gone home and there is just one car left with my bag at the side. I said that I was sorry for keeping them waiting and Dario looks at me having glanced at my computer on my handle bars.
“Tony, you have done 132k. You did the long course. We did the 70k course, did no one tell you? ”’

Brilliant Tony, but wear Centreville strip next time, it makes you go faster, that’s a real alternative fact…..

Event website for the Grand Fondo Firenze is here